Been babysitting my baby nephew and thinking about many things when he's asleep recently. Felt redundant, like my emotions. Sometimes its like this, the other times, its like - that. You know the all getting hurt and everything and suddenly you just stop crying because you realised youre so used it, it doesn't hurt anymore subconsciously. '
How does it feel like when you no longer love someone you used to love so much. Not because you didn't really love them but for everything that happened, but maybe it just happens gradually, overtime. But how does that feel like when the whole time you're just so caught with the mentality of loving that someone; just because its been so long. so long. Is it temporary. Does love emanate from all the things you've been through. Or rather, you're just too used to being with that one person, it seemed hard to move on. And what if the negativity overpowers the memories. what if there's more things you wanna forget than remember.
Moving on aside, how does it feel like to not love someone as much but still hold on to that last bit of faith because you have no confidence in anyone else anymore. And does it matter if both parties get back together. For it feels empty. Everything that happened stays. It lingers. Bad ones especially. How do we make the emptiness disappear. You'd ask if i love you. But whats loving when you're constantly getting obstacles after obstacles thrown at you. And they're always the one obstructing at the end of the day, even if its been solved. Its like you love but you cant. You do but you dont. Uh..... huh.
If i could change anything. I wont step a step closer. Not a single chance.I know. my posts are all about my emotions. But i just needed a space to rant.
On a side note. School's starting in 4 days. Hope i'd be comfortable with the new class.
